THE BIG ASK

the-big-ask

Most people have a question they would love to ask, but won’t. Many people perceive asking questions as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. They do not want someone to know they need help, or they do not know the answer. For many, the question leads to something even bigger, the possibility of rejection and disappointment.

When working with people all over the world one of the activities I have them do during my 3 day live workshop is ask 20 questions to people in the next 48 hours. Twenty questions that are personal like; “Can I borrow your car?, May I have half of your sandwich? Can you help me set up my website?. The reaction in the room is absolute silence when we begin this conversation on Day 1. However on day 3, there is a buzz on this topic that no one ever expects.

As we review our experiences everyone discovers that people often say yes more than they say no when you ask a question. In addition, they learn something even more valuable. They learn that when someone says no it does not kill them, defeat them, or even end their relationship. So what is all the refusal about?

Truthfully, most people enjoy being a contribution to others. It makes them feel good. Is it possible your asking may even be a gift to someone? I wonder what a shift in perception related to asking the big, personal questions can create for you and others in the world.

Intentions vs Resolutions – What Are You Choosing/

mmhblogjan8At this time of year, most people are making some sort of resolutions. Resolutions to lose weight, get more fit, make more money etc. What resolutions are you making? Do they make you feel good or do they make you feel bad? Resolutions have a really heavy feeling for me, they are more like obligations or duties or something that I should do to be a better person.

Am I not a good person? Are you not a good person? Why would I want to do something to make me feel bad about myself? This is what most people do. Most people make resolutions because that is what everyone else is doing. They just want to fit in.

I tried fitting in for most of my life, it didn’t work. How is it working for you? Would you like to choose something different this year? How about making intentions instead? Make intentions based on experiences and feelings. What would you like to experience this year? What would you like to feel this year?

Here is a short practical exercise that you can do to begin to create your intentions for this year:
Grab some index cards and write out your intentions on them – just 3 or 4 to start, one intention on one card, and then write out 3 or action steps that you can take for each of the intentions on the index cards. You can add more action steps as you go along. Be sure to read the index cards on a daily basis if possible. Don’t hide them away in a drawer somewhere, unless you really do not want your intention to manifest with ease and grace.

Now, along with the practical exercise, here is a visualization or energy process that you can also do every day: Sit quietly with your index cards in your hands and bring your attention to your heart space, the middle of your chest, and bring to your mind a beautiful feeling or memory, now let that feeling permeate throughout your entire being, if you can, imagine that your heart space is getting bigger and bigger and expanding out to fill the entire room that you are in and then the entire city you are in then the country and then the whole world. Now bring to mind one of your intentions, imagine that it has come to fruition, what are you feeling, what are you sensing, experience this throughout your being, your expanded being, put all of your emotion and energy into it, and smile, be grateful for the experience, the feeling, knowing that it has actualized. Take a deep breath and do it again for your next intention, and the rest.

You have now energetically and in your imagination already manifested your intention, now it is time to take action, regular, consistent action, knowing that your intention will also actualize in this physical realm with ease and grace.

Choose what feels good for you, what feels light and expansive. Have fun with this and really enjoy it, make time for this activity every day and you will be surprised as to how quickly your dreams and visions become a reality.

5 Simple Tips for Self-Published Authors

5 Simple Tips for Self-Published Authors

 

You are finishing up your book and now you need to get ready to let the world know it is available. There are some important marketing tips that may help you be more successful. Ai

 

  1. Draft Questions and Answers for your press kit. You will want this kit available and ready when your book comes out. You can send your press kit to news stations, magazines, local bookstores or businesses. This can help you obtain interviews, book, signing events, and media exposure.
  2. Create a way for people to get some free content from your book. You can offer a chapter for free to potential clients, or people who can provide their email in exchange for your chapter. You can build your list and possibly obtain future clients.
  3. Create your announcement email. Write a friendly email describing your book and its launch date. Ask your friends and family to share the email and social media posts with at least five friends and family members. They would love to help you, so let them.
  4. Identify companies, businesses or specific audiences that would benefit from the content in your book and offer them your book as a giveaway in their business. If a business owner loves the book they may choose to purchase them for their employees or buy copies for people, they know.
  5. Be Your Own Promoter. Have a few snippets you have practiced that you can easily say about your book and the reviews you have gotten so far. Include your positive reviews on your website and in your press kit.

Do you know you judge someone from the moment you meet them? by Donna Martuge

JudgementAs we grow up we learn that when we meet someone we shake their hand and we ask that person some very specific questions. The first question often is; “What do you do?”. We all have structures and rules we internalized growing up and we use them to judge people. Often when we hear what someone “does” for a living, we sort through our rules and put the person into a category in our mind.

One process we may be less cognizant of is we use some of those same structures and rules to judge ourselves all throughout our day. Think about your thoughts after you hear what someone does for a living, or you hear about someones accomplishments. Have you ever compared yourself to another person? Possibly put yourself down for not having done enough? Decided if you and this new person you met are compatible as friends, business associates, or even in the same “social circle”? All of these decisions and rules are the foundation for our judgements of ourselves and others.

How does judgement impact your life? We make many decisions using our judgements all throughout our lives. This influences our self talk, who we allow in our lives, jobs we may look at or choose not to consider, places we may visit or choose to live and so much more. At times these judgements show up as decisions, conclusions, and doors we choose to close or not open. Judgement is something that we use to limit ourselves and to cut off receiving and connecting with others.

We do have a choice. We can choose to be more conscious of our thoughts and stay in question. We can learn the difference between awareness that something is off, and judgement based on beliefs that you may not even agree with anymore. What could this create in your life.

Next time you meet someone for the first time, or hear yourself judging you or another person, ask some questions of yourself. Is this an awareness that is helping you, a belief you bought into that you never thought about, a form of separating yourself so you can avoid connection?

If you are willing to ask some questions and be aware of your thoughts and decisions you may find you increase your allowance and have more joy in connection and relationships. Take your relationships to the next level just by becoming more aware of what you are choosing as you speak with yourself and others.

Are Fear of Judgements Holding You Back? by Shefali Burns

Are Fear of Judgements Holding You Back?

 

Are you now questioning the above question? Are you asking yourself if this is true? Is that one reason that you are not living the life that you desire? So many of us, me included, let judgements from others and ourselves limit us. Sometimes, they are perceived judgements or even anticipated judgements that stop us in our tracks.

 

This is a huge topic, and I know that there have been many books written about this subject, to be honest, this still affects me on a regular basis. The actual judgements from others, the anticipated judgements when I think too much about something, and the perceived judgements, that may or may not even be true.

 

So what is judgement? This is something that we do all of the time, many times a day. We make something good or bad, negative or positive, right or wrong. We are adding a quality to something that just is. When we do this, we form a barrier or wall, a form of resistance, we are saying no to some sort of energy or better still we are creating a separation, a distinction between us and them.

 

When someone is judging us in a negative way, we take it personally, as if it is an attack on us personally, on our character, our value. Instead of just observing a situation or person objectively, we are sometimes putting a negative spin on it or them, that they did something wrong. So when you judge you are saying that you are dissatisfied with them, you are not accepting them as they are. This is the same as when we judge ourselves. We are not accepting us as we are, we are not allowing us to be as we are, we want to change ourselves, which is okay, but not when it is coming from a place of judgement. You actually will not be able to change anything or anyone including yourself if you are coming from a place of judgement, you can only change yourself or your situation when you begin to accept and allow the change to occur from an empowered place.

 

Other people will always judge us, we cannot control what other people think or do. But, what can we do with the judgement that are coming at us? This actually took me a long time to figure out and then implement. Just accept the judgement, let it go through you, look at the lesson it is showing you, and bless the person for the lesson received, for the awareness received, and move forward.

 

You are more powerful and more magnificent than any judgement. Do not let it hold you back any more! The world requires your special, unique energy. Whatever passion, goal, and dream you have, just go for it. People are going to judge you anyway, just go for it. Why not let them judge you for the awesomeness that you are? Why not let them judge you for the successful inspiration that you are?

 

I invite you to accept and love yourself as you are while you pursue your dreams, accomplish your goals, and reach the pinnacle of your success. Live a life free of judgement, live a life of moxie!

 

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